If you are looking for a job in the Canadian Government Public Service, the government has a most helpful webpage called Careers in the Federal Public Service (click photo link below for a larger size):
In the middle of the page above you can Search to see if a specific job is open – a job where you might know the name. On the left-hand side is another link called Job Alert. Continue reading Careers In The Federal Public Service – Big Oops!
The Lightkeepers’ Menagerie: Stories of Animals at Lighthouses
– by Elinor De Wire
Hardcover: 328 pages
I came across this book while doing a Google search for another author. Google Books has given a few free pages to read from this book. From these preview pages I think I will be buying the book. It sounds absolutely wonderful.
“Elinor De Wire has been writing about lighthouses and their keepers since 1972. During that time she found that hundreds of lighthouse animals wandered into her research notes and photo collection. This book is the story of all these cold-nosed, whiskered, wooly, hoofed, horned, slithery, buzzing, feathered, and finned keepers of the lights. Where else would a dog learn to ring a fogbell; a cat go swimming and catch a fish for its supper; or a parrot cuss the storm winds rattling its cage? Continue reading Book – The Lightkeepers’ Menagerie
No matter where you work, we all like to make fun of management. It was no different on the lighthouses. In my day they went by mail, or word of mouth; now it is more rapid by email. You may have heard these before, but they are still funny.
5 Minute Management Course (for all those wishing to attain a higher position)
Lesson 1 :
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…..
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ Continue reading 5 Minute Management Course +
I received these in an email last month and just could not resist publishing them with some cartoon art!
1) – This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) – Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) – If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (, age 7)
Continue reading Humour – Children Writing About the Ocean . . .
– Ray MacKenzie (Assistant Keeper on Boat Bluff 1982 – 1986)
My wife Petra and myself and our dog Butch arrived on Boat Bluff Lightstation on the 2nd day of October, 1982 aboard the Canadian Coast Guard icebreaker “CCGS Wolfe”, having been picked up in Port Hardy by Capt. Mellis on the CCGS WOLFE whilst it was on it’s fall re-fuelling run.
It had been a very nice, albeit long trip, as we were on the fall refuelling run. We had an opportunity to go ashore at a few of the stations which made it very interesting to a couple of greenhorns with stars in their eyes. Continue reading Memories of Boat Bluff c. 1980s
The following was an actual advertisement in an Irish newspaper:
1985 Blue Volkswagen Golf
Only 15 km
Only first gear and reverse used
Never driven hard
Original tires
Original brakes
Original fuel and oil
Only 1 driver
Owner wishing to sell due to employment lay-off
At least according to Dan’s Lighthouse Page.
– from Jeannie (Hartt) Nielsen (daughter of Ed Hartt, Senior Keeper on Triple Island 1954 – 1957)
Ed and Eileen Hartt were lightkeepers for a number of years, on Lawyer Island, Triple Island, and Langara Island. The following is an excerpt from one of my mother’s manuscripts about life on Triple Island in the 1950s.
It shows how lightkeeper’s wives often had to pitch in and help out – and how lightkeepers had to come up with some innovative solutions at times!
My father was an extremely resourceful man, and devised one of the first power devices used on the light stations for rotating the light within the tower. His ingenuity came in useful in many ways on other occasions as well. What follows is just one example . . .
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– from Eileen Hartt (Wife of Ed Hartt, Senior Keeper on Triple 1954 – 1957)
The combination washing machine/spin dryer we had purchased, turned out to be a real comedian in disguise. Its well worn casters (in fact, they were flat on one side) didn’t prevent it from charging all over the kitchen, like a dog on a leash. Its long cord plugged into the light socket hanging on the usual wire strung from the ceiling. It lurched and charged around the room with me in pursuit, trying to load it. Ed and the children thought it as hilarious when I missed the tub and my load of clothes scattered across the floor.
One night as we sat at the table, Don (our assistant keeper) told us that the clock drive for the tower wasn’t working properly. It had stopped half a dozen times the night before and had to be constantly watched. Ed and Don went to inspect it and I followed along. It didn’t take long to find the problem. The pulleys through which the cable passed were so worn from the long years of use that they were binding. The gears also were well worn. Ed and Don put their heads together and came up with an alarm that would ring if the light stopped turning .
It wasn’t very long after we put the light on that night when we found out how well the alarm worked. The sudden loud jangle of the bell brought us all to our feet and the three of us ran for the tower. Reaching the lamp room panting, Ed paused long enough to push the turn table and count to make the light revolve as it must. The men disappeared through the open trap door, and I was left to count and push, count and push. At first it was easy, but then my arm lost feeling, so I changed arms; then back again. It became agony, but I didn’t dare stop. I wondered if they would ever come back!
At last I heard feet on the cement steps. Ed told me to leave the light and get on the radio. I was to inform Digby and the Department of Transport that the light was inoperable. My arms and back ached as the blood returned, and I hurried down to the radio room.
“Prince Rupert Radio, Prince Rupert Radio, Prince Rupert Radio: Triple Island calling!”
“Triple Island, Prince Rupert back. We have a message for you. Copy? Your light is burning steady. Do you copy?”
I glanced out the window and saw the lights of the ship that had just reported our light, passing in the night.
“Prince Rupert Radio, have copied. I want to send one to the main office and your station; light inoperable, worn gears. Signed Ed Hartt, Triple Island. Do you copy?”
I looked out at the passing ship lights and made a face at them then went back to the tower room to tell the men we had been reported.
“Wouldn’t you know it?” Ed complained. “You don’t see a ship or boat all day, and the second things go wrong there’s one right there!”
“That’s the way things go,” Don agreed.
That night turned into a nightmare for the two men as they tried to keep the light turning. The weight would only drop about ten feet then stop and have to be wound up again.
As I walked bleary eyed through the kitchen the next morning I found my rambling washing machine was not in its usual place. It had given its life to become part of the electric drive Ed had devised to keep the light revolving. I found its remains in the engine room, but it was in a good cause, as our light never burned steady again.
* photo – Triple Island at Dusk – Mike Mitchell
This humorous story was told me to me by a former US Coast Guard man named Charlie Hannert who emailed me about his life as a lighthouse keeper. All lighthouse keepers in the United States were members of the US Coast Guard and wore uniforms, whereas Canadian lighthouse keepers were not. We worked for the Coast Guard but were not under their jurisdiction. This story does not refer to anything Canadian but is along the lines of the “left-handed monkey wrench” with which many a newbie was fooled..
Everyone knows what a “Cutter” is, don’t they? If not, it is a name for a variety of boats used by the US Coast Guard. Well Charlie was asked . . . OK, I’ll let him tell it . . .
When I got to my first unit the Chief asked me if I’d like to run the Coast Guard Cutter? Oh boy, I fell for that one hook line and sinker. Of course I said sure Chief. I knew better than to ever volunteer for anything, but? So he took me to the old boathouse and put me in charge of a push lawn mower. It was the Coast Guard’s ‘cutter’ alright!
Thanks Charlie!
This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH–I SAY AGAIN, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH–OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a Canadian lighthouse. Your call.
– Author Unknown
Now this is quite funny, but what is even better is that it is not true and has been around from at least the 1960s according to some websites. Check out the US Navy website where they contradict the “facts”!
Click the screen below to see a video version of the same joke.
A funny video with a United States warship against a lighthouse, somewhere in the Irish Sea. . .
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It looks like this joke has world-wide acclaim. Here’s a Scottish version . . .
In the middle of foggy night in the North-west Atlantic…..two lights are heading directly for one another… and on the radio an American voice is heard saying “We suggest you alter course by 10 degrees to port”.
Back comes the reply “We suggest YOU alter course by 10 degrees to port!”
Then the American voice says “This is the battleship USS Missouri leading the American Atlantic battle fleet. You had better alter course by 10 degrees to port.”
Back comes the reply “This is the Outer Hebrides lighthouse, but it’s your call, Jimmy”.
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and before the days of TV . . . … a 1939 book shows:
The fog was very thick, and the Chief Officer of the tramp steamer was peering over the side of the bridge. Suddenly, to his intense surprise, he saw a man leaning over a rail, only a few yards away.
“You confounded fool!” he roared. “Where the devil do you think your ship’s going? Don’t you know I’ve got the right of way?”
Out of the gloom came a sardonic voice: “This ain’t no blinkin’ ship, guv’nor. This ‘ere’s a light’ouse!”
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And not to be left out, here is a German language version:
While we are in the German section, might as well add this one too! 🙂